Betty and the Giant's Hiccups

Big Morag lived on the far side of the mountains, and she had come to see the Harvest Fair because she had heard it was lovely. HIC! — and three very surprised sheep sat right down on their bottoms. Betty put her hands on her hips and said, "That's not thunder — that's HICCUPS." Big Morag had eaten her breakfast far too fast on the way over the mountains, and now she could not stop hiccuping.

Big Morag rumbled, in a voice like far-off thunder, "Oh dear, excuse me, I'm so sorry… HIC!" Whoosh — all the little fair flags blew off the lampposts and wrapped themselves around the Mayor! The Mayor tugged at the flags and said, "We had better help her, or there won't be a fair at all!" The Mayor tugged off the last flag and said, "Give her a fright — that always works!"

Clip-clop, clip-clop, down the hill rode the four village knights in their shiniest armor. Right up close to her boots, they pushed up their helmets and shouted, "BOO!" Big Morag smiled and said, "Oh, aren't the little shiny ones sweet." She picked one up, horse and all, and patted him gently on the helmet with one finger.

Big Morag carefully set the knight and his horse back on the grass, and they trotted away. Back in the village, Betty giggled and giggled — until Big Morag went HIC! "The best way to cure hiccups," said the schoolteacher, "is to hold your breath. She must hold hers while we all count to a hundred." From the top of the church tower, Betty watched Big Morag take a breath so huge that all the trees leaned toward her.

Betty called out, "One… two… three…" and the whole village counted along, while the ducks went quack, quack, quack. "Ninety-seven… ninety-eight… ninety-nine…" HIC! Whoooosh — out came all her breath at once, and the Mayor's hat flew right over the church!

Dad said, "A spoonful of sugar — very good for hiccups," and lifted the biggest spoon in the village. Big Morag knelt down and stuck out her tongue, as long as a garden path, right across the river. Dad tipped the sugar onto the very end — but to a giant, it was about one grain. Big Morag pulled her tongue back and swallowed the tiny spoonful of sugar.

HIC! — the sugar had not helped a bit. Granny Hobbs said, "Drink water upside down — it never fails." So Big Morag lay on her back at the riverbank with her upside-down face under the water, and the river went glug, glug… right up her nose. AH-CHOOOO — her sneeze made a great big rainbow over the whole village!

Then Big Morag sat up, dripping wet, and — HIC! By the afternoon, Big Morag sat on Pudding Hill with her chin in her hands. "I only wanted to see the fair," she said, "and now I'm spoiling it." Betty watched the giant, and in her apron pocket, Thimble poked out his head and twitched his whiskers.

And Betty had an idea! Betty walked all the way up the hill to the giant's boots, which were as big as boats. Betty called up, "I think I can help — but I need to come up," and Big Morag laid her hand flat on the grass. Up, up, up she went, past the woolly sweater and the robin's nest in the collar.

Betty said softly, "Now close your eyes, please." Very gently, Betty set Thimble down on the end of the giant's nose… Pit-pat, pit-pat, he walked up her nose and sat right between her eyes. Big Morag opened one eye… then the other…

Her eyes went very, very wide, and crossed right in the middle! "Is that… a MOUSE?" Big Morag let out the tiniest, highest "eek" anyone had ever heard from a giant! Then she froze, as stiff as a statue, holding her breath…

The whole village waited on the bridge, and even the ducks waited… And then… nothing happened — no hiccup, not one. Big Morag let out her breath and cried, "Oh, my goodness — they've GONE!" So the Harvest Fair went ahead after all, with cake, and dancing, and a sheep parade!

The children slid down her braid, the knights polished her boots, and Dad wheeled a whole cake up the hill for her. Big Morag looked at Thimble and whispered, "Is he very fierce?" Betty smiled and said, "Only when he has to be," and Thimble just washed his whiskers. When the stars came out, Big Morag set Betty down on Pudding Hill as gently as a feather, and Betty waved goodbye before hurrying home.

Then she walked back over the mountains, and lay down with her knitted hat pulled over her ears. Betty lay in bed with the window open, listening to the quiet. And sometimes, on a clear, quiet night, you might hear a little thunder far away… But it's only Big Morag, fast asleep, dreaming about mice.